The Lifestyles of The Akatsuki
by ReisLilNekojin
Summary: Have you ever found yourself wondering what it would be like to be in the shoes of an Akatsuki member while they aren't on a mission? Well now is your chance, my friends. Enter the Lifestyles of The Akatsuki!
1. The Life of Deidara

**Akatsuki - Short Stories**

**It was a normal day at the Akatsuki base; and by normal, I mean totally and utterly loud. **

**"SASORI-DANNA! HIDAN TOOK MY POUCH OF CLAY AGAIN, YEAH!" Deidara yelled, running into his partners room, a pout etched onto his face. Sasori sighed and shook his head.**

**"I don't care... go find Tobi or something..." the puppet master said, waving the blonde maniac off. He was emmeresed in his newest puppet and wanted to get in finished so he could try it out.**

**Deidara groaned and latched himself onto Sasori's arm, in turn making him scratch the puppet's chest plate. Sasori's face went blakner than it had ever been. He glared at Deidara and stood.**

**"Run.", "What?", "Run. Now. Or die." **

**Deidara's eyes went wide as he ran out of Sasori's room. He quickly sprinted to and behind the main room's couch; oddly enough, Tobi was there. Blinking, the blonde sighed and looked at the pest, he smirked though. A plan was forming in his head. **

**"Hey, Tobi. You want to do me a favor, yeah?"**

**Tobi looked to the blonde man, glee pouring out of every nerve the young man had, "Tobi is a good boy! Tobi will do anything for Deidara!" **

**Smirking, Deidara chuckled, "Right; now. I need you to go and find Hidan, yeah. Then attack him while I get my pouch of clay, yeah."**

**"Bitch please; that's suicide." Tobi stated and walked off. Diedara's mouth hung open, staring after Tobi, "Wow." Shaking his head to clear it, the blonde was off again. He just had to get his pouch back; first, he'd blow up Hidan... then Tobi. He smirked and walked into the hallway. Staring at a certain door, he snapped. Leader-san could help him! **

**Going to knock on the door, he heard something he didn't want to hear. Were Leader and Konan...? Oh God! Deidara ran as fast as he could, but ran into a certain Uchiha.**

**"Itachi! Can you...", "No.", "But I didn't even...", "No." **

**The swirly eyed man walked away and Deidara pouted; maybe Kakuzu? No. Zetsu? No. Um... Gah! Could no one help him?!**

**Deidara walked to his room and sulked; of course he did plenty of that on the way there. But, before he could reach his room, he ran into a blue man... fish... Kisame! He smiled, but Kisame instantly walked away. Growling in frustration, Deidara stalked into his room. **

**But, someone was almost there, "Hidan?" the suicidal, religious man looked to Deidara and smirked, "Do you want your pouch shit back, seriously?" **

**Deidara nodded eagerly, but soon realized that Hidan was tossing it to him. Moving out of the way, Deidara tackled Hidan to the ground; just in time for his pouch to explode. **

**Hidan blinked at glared at Deidara, "GET THE FUCK OFFA' ME!" he yelled, pushing the blonde off of him. Deidara gawked and pointed in random directions, "But... I just saved your life, yeah!" **

**Hidan sighed and, before walking out the door, he simply stated, "I'm fucking immortal, dumbass." he walked out of the door and towards his room. **

**Deidara looked stupified and blinked, "Wow..." he chuckled some, "Guess you learn something new every day." at that moment, a small black cat fell on top of the blonde. Screaming, Deidara ran around the room, swinging his arms in all directions.**

**"OH MY GOD, YEAH! A CAT JUST ATTA-..." he stopped running and his insanity stopped, bringing A.D.D. into action. He stared at the cat and blinked, "When did we get a cat, yeah?" **

**END**


	2. Religiously Cursing Hidan?

**Akatsuki - Short Stories**

**So, after my whole adventure of stealing Deidara's clay pouch again, I needed something to do. **

**Deciding upon a sacrifical ceremony for my god, Jashin, I walked to my room. Upon my entrance, I could have screamed. It was CLEAN! **

**"WHAT THE FUCK?! WHICH ONE OF YOU ASSHOLES CLEANED MY FUCKING ROOM?!" I yelled. Holy shit; this was not fucking close to cool! Whoever did this... is going to meet my scythe and be my next god damn sacrifice.**

**I stalked out of my, clean, room and looked around. I had no idea who I should talk to, so I went to find Tobi. No one would care if he were dead... right? Hahahaha; WHO THE FUCK CLEANED MY GOD DAMN ROOM?!**

**Okay Hidan, calm the fuck down. One, two, three, four, five... FUCK THIS! I hate counting anyway...**

**I soon took it upon myself to rampage around the base until I got what the hell I wanted. That didn't happen... so I went to irritate Kakuzu. That's always fun!**

**Kicking his door open, I smiled as "happily" as I could. He looked back to me and sighed, "What?" I skipped over to him and smiled, batting my eyes, "Kaaaakuuuuzuuu?"**

**He got a look of horror in his lifeless eyes and looked down at me, "Ye-yes Hidan?"**

**I smiled once more, then I got the feeling that I lost all of the feeling in my face, "WHAT THE HELL ON FRENCH TOAST HAPPENED TO MY GOD DAMNED ROOM?!" I think I heard a cat yelp or something... maybe it was Tobi... either way! I wanted to know what happened to my room!**

**Kakuzu sighed and looked down at me, "You think I know? Well... I do." I stared up at him, he blinked and sighed, "I think Deidara said you told him too..."**

**I felt fire surround me. That sorry excuse for a transvestite was more than dead. **

**I ran to his room and yelled; that's all I remembered to do. But... the problem was... it was Itachi's room that I entered... and broke the door. **

**Shit.**


	3. Uchiha Itachi? Yup!

**Itachi.**

**I looked over to Hidan and glared, my Sharingan activated. Sighing, I looked to the overly religious man, "Leave. Now." he smirked at me. **

**"Or what?"**

**Oh no he didn't. I walked over to him and worsened my glare, "You'll want to be mortal just so you can kill yourself." **

**I got the responce I wanted... he ran away. Now for some... DID HE BREAK MY DOOR?! HE IS SO DEAD! I glared at where the religious man once stood and walked to the doorway. **

**Glaring into the hallway, I saw Kisame pass by with a vanilla ice cream cone. What the fuck?! Where did he get that?!**

**"Kisame... what the hell?" **

**Mr. Blue looked upon me and smiled, "The freezer!" I seriously felt my face go blank. Seriously. I shook my head and walked off in search of that idiot, Hidan. Kisame blinked and just shrugged, enjoying his cone. **

**I sighed at my partner's idiocy and walked down the hall more, "HIDAN! GET YOUR RELIGION HAPPY ASS HERE AND FACE ME LIKE THE ASSHOLE YOU ARE!" I yelled; but he didn't come out. Dirty little, cum guzzling, gutter slut. I sighed once more. **

**Then I saw it; silver hair and violet eyes. VENGENCE SHALL BE MINE!**

**I grabbed his hair and took his Jashin necklace, then ran. I win.**

**"YOU SUNOVABITCH!! GET BACK HERE YOU ASSHOLE!" I hear; damn. He's chasing me!!  
**

**I run into the first room I can see and close the door, locking it. I wonder whose room it is... wait. Is that an orange mask? No... not him. **

**"ITACHI-SAN! YOU CAME TO VISIT TOBI?!" I literally feel my eye twitch. I did not want to face the horror that was about to come upon me. I had to stay in here with Tobi until Hidan left...**

**I WILL SACRIFICE TOBI! **

**I smriked and grabbed onto Tobi, "Tobi. I'm pushing you out the door; then you run. It's a new game called 'Don't Get Killed By Hidan.' Okay?" Tobi nodded vigerously and readied himself, "Tobi is ready!" **

**I opened the door and pushed him onto Hidan, then ran. Victory.**


	4. Is He A Good Boy? Tobi!

**Tobi.**

**All Tobi remembers is being pushed out of the door by Itachi-san. I also remember running from the sythe weilding Hidan...**

**That wasn't fun at all. This new game Itachi-san told Tobi about was not fun! I didn't like running from Hidan because he always caught me!**

**But, all Tobi could do was run and that's what I did. Ran. Maybe someone would save me along my way! I ran into Deidara's room and slammed the door shut. Tobi then proceeded to turn around and wave frantically at Deidara, "Hello Sempai!" **

**He glared at me and sighed, "What the hell do…"**

"**TOBI! GET YOUR HYPERACTIVE ASS OUT HERE SO I CAN KILL YOU, DAMMIT!" I heard over Deidara. I smiled at him even though he couldn't see it, but Tobi knew Deidara used his imagination because Sempai's eye twitched!**

"**Tobi. Go away before Hidan breaks my door like he did Itachi's."**

**Tobi pouted and sighed, "Fine. Tobi will leave." Sempai didn't want me in his room so I would find Zetsu-san! **

**I slammed the door open and heard a grunt, then looked down, "Hidan?" I asked, but he was out cold. **

**Hooray! Tobi was saved! **

**I was so happy that I skipped out of the doorway and into some random room; Kisame's room! "Kisame-san! Tobi knocked Hidan out!"**

"**Again?" Mr. blue fishy man questioned, then turned to face me. Kisame learned how to deal with Tobi's overhyperactivity and often talked with Tobi. **

**I nodded vigerously, "Yes, yes, yes! It was quite nice, too!" Kisame laughed and shook his head, "Tobi?", "Yes?", "Go away."**

**Tobi obeyed Kisame-san and skipped out of the room to tell Zetsu-san about my new accomplishment!**

**End.**


End file.
